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Send or Post Your Questions

Well, I have had a busy few months. At last, I am ready (I hope!) to start using this space in a way that can be useful to you. What I am going to do is to copy in any emails sent to me (send them to laura@laura-spicer.com and put blog question in the subject line) asking me for online help. I will then post the replies.

This way, I maximise the benefits to everyone and use my time constructively. In most cases, you won’t be the only one suffering with the same problem and so you will be doing others a favour by asking and getting a reply posted.

I hope this will prove to be a really useful resource but of course that depends on you! So if you want my help or advice on personal impact and power, voice, stammers and stutters, confidence, nerves, anxieties, phobias, fears and any of the subjects I deal with, do send them to me.

Of course there is only so much I can do through this medium. This can’t replace a personal consultation. But lots of people who write to me can’t afford a session or live too far away to make the journey to see me or come on my courses, or really just want a quick answer to a specific question so, if that is your story, then do use this resource.

This also can be a place for you to make requests for courses if you want me to run a particular one. In the coming year I plan to run a few courses on VoicePower, Connecting with your Power, NLP Practitioner course to name 3 of them. If there is something you think I know and you want me to share it then let me know. I am getting to a point in my life where I might make some changes, move countries, stop working as much as I do now etc. So if you do want to learn from me then take this opportunity to say so now!

I look forward to hearing from you and will do my best to answer you as quickly as possible

with love and best wishes

6 comments

  1. laurablog says:

    “I am going for a job interview next week and I am so nervous I don’t think I will be able to show them me at my best.   I am afraid I will go blank and not be able to tell them what I genuinely know.” 

    That would be such a shame!   I hear this so often.   The cause of being unable to retrieve what you know from your brain is often just too much adrenaline.

    So practice breathing really deeply.   Oxygen burns off excess adrenaline, so empty your lungs and refill fully three or four times and ‘tell’ your heart to slow back to normal.     Say this to yourself in a gentle internal voice!   Take the time you need.   

    Also, while breathing deeply, relax your body. Work in sections.  Start by relaxing your feet and work through each area releasing tension and relaxing.   

    Now imagine walking in to your interview, calm and confident and doing a great job.   Practice this physical and psychological technique every day between now and the interview and keep focusing on how you do want to feel instead of imagining worse case scenarios!

  2. laurablog says:

      “How can I be more confident? I am always worrying about not being good enough.”

    I hear this in my consulting room a lot too.   Are you telling yourself others are thinking you are not good enough in some way?  Try talking to yourself as if you are talking to someone you think is wonderful. You would be amazed to discover how most people worry about not being good enough, so as you can feel encouraging thoughts of them, extend it to yourself.  

    It isn’t important if you are right, just check out if you feel better? If it works, then use it as a tool to achieve your goal of greater confidence.   

  3. laurablog says:

    Dear Laura,

    I lost my sister to cancer a year ago.  I still think about her and feel so sad a lot of the time.   Is there anything you could recommend to help me to start feeling more happy?

    There are a number of simple techniques and tricks which will make a positive difference.   It is understandable that you are sad about your loss.   However, it is wise to avoid making sadness too much of a habit.   

    To start making positive steps towards feeling better, you can set aside fixed time each day to think about her and feel what you feel.   At other times, practice choosing what else to focus attention on.   

    You can’t not think about something – rather you have to think about something else.   As you choose to focus on making a cup of tea for example, really give all your attention to it.   Enjoy finding out how much you can notice about the tea – smell, colour, how the water pours etc.   

    The more you practice being ‘in the moment’ the better you will get at it and the less time you will be spending feeling sad.

    It is also an effective trick to smile a big silly grin 7 times in a row.   Strange though it may seem, your brain produces happy chemicals when you smile and laugh, even if it isn’t emotionally genuine.  

    Try this trick and notice the feeling of a little seratonin injection to help you feel happier.   You can also try playing with the way you are thinking about your sister.   

    When you imagine her, notice how far away she looks in your mind’s eye.   Try pushing the picture further away and bringing it closer.   Where does it feel more comfortable?   

    If you keep putting the picture in the place it feels best for you, your brain will get used to it and do it without effort.

  4. laurablog says:

    Dear Laura
    I feel depressed since I lost my job.   My confidence is at an all time low.
    Is there anything I can do to get back to feeling positive and confident so I can
    start looking for another job?

    There are effective mental techniques you can use to help get yourself back on track and there are so many people these days who are in the same situation as you   Successful people usually have many setbacks and it is how they bounce back that counts.

    Do the following mental exercise to start rebuilding your confidence and positive attitude.

    Spend five minutes, eyes closed, imagining a life size image of yourself standing in front of you, looking really happy and confident   

    Build your mental image so it is detailed and colourful.   Notice how you look when you feel happy confident and motivated.   Have your image turn 360 degrees, so you see yourself from every angle.   What is your posture and facial expression?  Where are your hands?   Are your arms crossed or by your side?  Is your head tipped?

    Once you have a clear image of what a happy confident you looks like, stand up and step into your image.   Adjust your body and facial expression until you have melted into an identical copy of your imagined you!

    If you do this thoroughly it will only take a couple of minutes, and you will notice it changes your feelings.   You may have to repeat this a few times to get the hang of it, but once you are in touch with this more positive mood it will get easier to access,

    As soon as you feel more positive ask yourself the question – “what could I do today towards a happier future?”   Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day!  Every step in a positive direction is a step in a positive direction!   If you feel better each time you do the exercise, you will soon feel ready to actively do something to improve your situation,   

    Thinking about what you do want for yourself is a much clearer signal to your unconscious which will help you to get back on track once it knows what you want.

  5. laurablog says:

    Sure I am on Twitter! @lauraspicer
    Hope to see you there 🙂

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