Bereavement, Grief and Loss
This is a very personal page for me
The picture is of my husband and me two years before he died in 2008
Getting through bereavement, as well as other losses and causes for grief, is something that most people have to face during a lifetime - and most people find it difficult.
Each person’s experience is different. In fact every bereavement is different. It doesn’t feel the same to have had to say goodbye to a sibling, as a partner or a child. It doesn’t feel the same to lose your job and income as to have your house burn down.
Each loss and each bereavement is different. And each one of us feels it in our own unique way.
I think it is appropriate to feel the sorrow and to allow yourself time to come to terms with the change in your life. However it is also possible to feel much less overwhelmed by the emotions, and to limit the amount of time spent grieving each day. Plus it is possible to speed up the period of time it takes to get to the point where you are ready to rebuild a new version of your life in the new circumstances - and that is where I can help you. Especially if you feel too overwhelmed or too bereft for too long.
Even if you have good friends to support you, in most cases our untrained friends just don’t know how to help or what are the right things to say.
There are various avenues you can explore which can be very supportive. There are organisations and counsellors who are trained to be supportive and who are very helpful at these challenging times of life. And sometimes just having the right person to talk to about how you feel is just what you want and need.
Coming to see me for help serves a different purpose from counselling.
I will help you to begin to focus on how to rebuild your life and happiness.
I will teach you how to control the feelings at moments when they are not appropriate.
And I will assist you to begin to heal the wounds and scars, so that you can move forward into the state of mind that you need, in order to be more in control of your life, and feelings, and start the journey to happiness again.
I will help you to clear the chemical trauma and shock from your system so that you can begin to feel more 'normal' again.
Most people will tell you that although they never ‘get over’ the death of a close loved one they get to a point when they accept it and are used to them being gone. Most people get to a point when they can once more think about the precious, happy times they spent together, without the overwhelming sad feelings. I discovered that this can be achieved much sooner than would happen without the skills, techniques, and ways of thinking that I learnt both from my training and on my own personal journey.
It is important to get some control over feelings if they are debilitating, while at the same time not pretending not to be feeling them, so I would allow myself a very specific half hour to be miserable in peace. I would think about my husband and my situation, which felt very scary. I would do that for a set length of time because I wanted to mitigate how long I spent focused on sad things, and so that I could begin to rebuild a happier life as soon as I could. I also needed to work as well as look after the other members of my family, and I couldn't have done this nearly as fully as I was able, as a result of my NLP training.
If you are bereaved and grieving, or have suffered a loss of some kind and feel you need some help to get back to living a full life again, then do contact me.
Having been through it myself, I know that getting the right help can be a life saver and it would be an honour to assist you to move forward in the best way possible.
Contact me if you would like to discuss coming to see me.